After The Rape

May 16, 2007 at 7:41 pm (Uncategorized)

Looking back, having spoken to a therapist, I know I was in shock. It was the strangest feeling of calm and silence and I felt I floated up the two staircases to Jim’s room.

I looked at the bed made up for me on the floor. I went to the toilet, I needed to wipe myself. Then I floated back to Jim’s room and I got into the bed after closing his door. As I started to pull the sheet over me I think I must have been sobbing because, although I couldn’t hear it, I woke Jim up. I had just wanted to sleep and hoped the whole thing might disappear but I am so glad now that my friend sat up in bed and asked me what was wrong.

I went over and sat on the end of his bed and said something. At first when I tried to remember I thought I’d said that John had raped me but, now that I’ve heard about Jim’s statement and thought over it I think I recall saying something like “I woke up and John was on top of me”. After saying that I began to cry and Jim held me to his chest.

Again I can’t estimate the times and all of these memories are strangely blurry. At some point Jim’s mum came to the room. I repeated what I had said to Jim and she told me I had been raped. I cried onto her and Jim again. In the meantime Jim had received several calls to his mobile from my attacker, he didn’t answer. Jim’s mum asked me who I’d like her to call and I asked her to call my brother. That call was received around 8am and he called a taxi to come to the house.

Then the doorbell rang. I thought it might be my brother but it seemed so soon. Elaine went downstairs and came back up to the room soon after. She was quite shaken and said that the rapist and his father had come to the house and she had let them in because she didn’t know what to do. They wanted to speak to me but Elaine sent Jim down to get rid of them. When he came back he said that he had told them to go, that my brother was on his way and would be very angry if he saw them. They left.

My brother walked in and started to cry when he saw me. I don’t remember seeing him cry any other time. He called my sister and asked her to come. When she arrived she got my things together and told me we were going to the police straight away. I knew that was the right thing to do and have never once regretted that decision.

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